A Comparison. In which you get to see terrible writing.

A Comparison. In which you get to see terrible writing.

Hello people of the world. First off … *presents to you apologies* So I technically already failed one of my New Year’s Resolutions … I said I’d actually keep to my blogging schedule and … *points at the lack of Thursday’s and Monday’s posts* Yeah …

Yeah … I have little to no inspiration currently and … I don’t have anything to actually write about and I have serious doubts that all you lovely people would actually want to read anything that I write but … eh. But! I’ll just get worse if I don’t post anything at all so hopefully this will be interesting. XD

I … am unsure of the purpose of this post … but I’m going to share with you some of my writing. Feel free to laugh. XD

I went back sometime this weekend into the deepest darkest trenches of the files on my laptop and discovered … my first ever novel. Written at age … ten I believe. During NaNo. A total of three thousand words in thirty days. It’s … terrible. *headdesks*

So. In a brief moment I’m going to give you an excerpt of that … for … reasons. And then I’m going to go track down some of my more recent writing (still first draft, mind you. So not my best writing … and like … yeahhh) Erm … anyway. Hopefully this will be fun. XD I’m kind of hoping to inspire all of you somewhat … like “Oh. Sarah isn’t a fantabulous writer now but look how much she’s grown since … *winces* That … back then …. Hey! So I can grow too! I should keep writing because that means I’ll get better, right?” Because … that’s basically how I feel about this. 😉

So … now without further ado … writing! (Oh. And this is literally the first ever draft of my first ever actual novel written at age ten. With all it’s typos and misspellings and everything for the sake of … embarrassing myself as much as possible. XD I haven’t edited this bit at all. Just … realize that … XD  )

Evan had just walked into Von villain castle after he had gotten his invitation from Von villain. Voices wafted in from a room farther in on the left and Evan knew that that was were he should go but he wanted to look around for a little bit before he found out what Von villain wanted with him. The entrance hall was huge if this was the entrance hall it was bigger then any house Evan had been inside much less any entrance hall. If every thing was this big or bigger than the outside of the castle would look small compared to the inside . The ceiling was as tall as a two story house and it was also made of stone, by the look of it the entire castle was made of stone, except for the doors, of course but it wouldn’t even surprise Evan if some of the doors were stone to. Evan walked on past an arch, if it was possible than this room was even taller than the entrance hall. The floor was stone and on one side of the room there was a tall staircase, also made of stone but with a grand, red, velvet carpet trailing up the staircase. There were also several doors on the sides of the room from one of them came the sound of talking and people pushing chairs back. That must be the place for the luncheon Evan thought. He walked over to the room and looked in, there were a few long tables with white lace tableclothes trailing almost to the floor. Many famous people were seated at the tables including the 10 year old prince and his servant, a stage was put up on the far end, the red curtains were closed I should go in there before they start. But it was to late the curtain opened and Von Villain walked up to the stage and started talking “ My dear friends,” he began “I have gathered you hear today to discuss the matter of what we will do when the old king dies. Of course when he reaches the age of sixteen the prince will get the throne but that shall be in six years. Unfortunatly the king is getting sick and I fear he shall die before the prince is old enough to be the next king. So someone shall have to help the prince rule until then,” he paused and looked around at his guests. “ I have thought and thought and then thought some more and I have come to the conclusoin that we should have a vote in one weeks time, to see who is most worthy to help the prince, if you all agree of course.” He paused many people nodded so thats why he invited us here Evan thought. Von Villain started talking again “ I shall now continue on another subject the subject of my guests to this luncheon, do not worry I shall make this short so we may eat , every one is here I invited for a reason and every one apeares to be here except for one person, and I believe he is standing in the doorway please come up here Evan Beauwake.” Von Villain was looking strait at Evan and many heads turned. Evan gulped was it worth it or should he just turn around right now and run run as fast as he could but then what would he do? Keep going around like now having to go to inns that might be so kind as to give him bread, dried meat, and a place to stay the night? No, he had a chance to change his life, he would walk up there and change it and many others. He walked purposefully up toward the stage aware that every one was looking at him now and most likely thinking, if everyone was invited here then why would Von Villain invite him? A traveler a person of no use to anyone. Going from town to town trying to survive, barely living, if Von Villain invited him Von Villain must be a good and genoros person and as Evan thought this he became angry was that why Von Villain invited him? So Von Villain could get more votes so he could be the princes helper? No of course not if a person wanted that then that person would want more power then just a helper. A person like that would want to be king! and a person like that would be king if someone didn’t stop him! All these thoughts whirled inside Evan’s head as he walked up through the rows of tables in a daze. He was almost to the stage now. He walked up the wooden steps at least that’s not stone thought Evan and then smacking his head mentally he thought why did I just think that? This is no time to think like that I have to warn these people of Von Villain’s plan if it is his plan and it might not be. I have to warn them. He was on the stage Von Villain was talking

*stops random excerpt thing* That, m’dears, is one paragraph. The entire draft I have written for that novel is *goes to check* 3,479 words. That one paragraph is 859 words. (Oh, and apologies. This is going to be a semi-long post as … it’s already way over 1,000 words due to that excerpt …) Right … anyway. That was my writing back then … XD *grins sheepishly* I really did think I was a good writer back then. *shakes head sadly at past me* And the plot for that … was incredibly cliché and weird. See if you can guess what it basically was based on just the excerpt. 😉 Anyway … I didn’t get very far into that and … it’s there and … geez. It’s terrible. But I’m really glad I wrote it, cause otherwise I would never have been to where I am now which is hopefully better than that is … *coughs*. Yup… So … Let us now continue! Because somehow you’re still reading! (Oi, and if you skip part of/all of the excerpts or this entire post I honestly don’t blame you … cause it’s long and slightly boring and honestly my brain isn’t built for reading excerpts so I’m guilty of skipping them *shifts eyes* so I understand? Er … Not sure what I’m actually trying to say.) Anyway. Novel!

Running through darkness while being chased by people who want to kill you really isn’t all that fun. Running through darkness while being chased by people who want to kill you because you kind of infuriated the entire town and possibly may have accidentally killed someone is … equally not as fun. I’m not sure why I mention it. I am currently caught in barbed wire, and these thoughts are running through my head. The thought “Why are you even currently thinking this, Illyana? This is a waste of space, of time. Please run for your life instead.” is also currently running through my head. I also wonder why barbed wire is so annoying.

I rip free of the wire and sprint off into the darkness, my boots bouncing off of the mossy soil underneath me. A cow moos off in the distance and I flinch, then scold myself. I have to continue running. Running is life. Literally. If I stopped running I would be caught and then most likely killed.

Fortunately, I tend to run a lot and I’ve become rather good at it, so I’m out of their range and hiding in a nicely placed tree in almost no time. Unfortunately, the fact that I run so much in the first place is that this tends to happen a lot. Up in my tree I try to remember how this one occurred. I can’t really. Basically, this just means yet another town hates me.

The tree is actually rather nice, and I climb higher. The view is excellent up here, I can see all the way to the giant bonfire which was meant for me, and the torches and pitchforks being waved in the air. How pleasant. I suppose I’m probably not going back there tonight. Too bad. It looks fun with all the death and destruction.

After a brief look around to confirm that no one is in my immediate surrounding I slip down the tree with the grace of a trained monkey and dart off into the darkness once more. I’ll probably be running all night. Again. I sigh. Why am I even like this? Oh yeah … tragic back-story, unfortunate blunders, accidental training in death. Right. That’s me. Illyana. The one who causes chaos without trying. I’m kind of scared to think of what my chaos would look like if I actually did try.

The darkness deepens (if that’s at all possible in this basically pitch black place) as I jog along. I have no idea where the next town is or if its a friendly one. I’m not sure what’s going to happen exactly but I want food, honestly. I’m tired and hungry, and though I may now be fabulous at running I’m really getting sick of doing this almost every night. If it’s not accidental manslaughter it’s burning down half the town, being way too creepy for my own good, scaring and scarring all the children, making it hail (I swear that wasn’t me), or just … being me in general. Or the word got around about me and they already hate me before they set their eyes on me.

Wow. Fun. What is my life, even?

Right. Anyway. Running. Gotta pay attention to running otherwise – I trip and fall. Apparently someone decided to place a gigantic boulder in their field. Great choice, people! Positively brilliant! Hope you like blood all over your stupid boulder! Oh, and I must commend you on the hardness of your boulder! Really nice! Really hard! I bet you didn’t know how painful it was, did you? Well … it’s really painful! It’s great! Real great!

I blink, mentally cursing myself. “Illyana. Please. Stop.” I mutter out loud. Probably shouldn’t be muttering anything out loud, but … “Seriously. Cut it out please, darling. Shush.” Wow. Rude. Make me. Fight me, darling. “Illyana! You are bloody arguing with yourself right now! Just …” I take a huge breath, staring into the heavens and wondering how I was cursed with myself. Right. I now know why people hate me …. I clear my throat and slowly make my way around the rock in the darkness. I’m soon clear and running again.

Jogging through fields … at night … with boulders … not as much fun as you think it might be. Seriously. I don’t recommend this. “I need … to find a road. Yep. Roads are nice.” I muse to myself. I really need to stop this musing. I mean … what if someone heard me? I glance around briefly. Like … a cow? A … cow … might hear me.

*shifts eyes around* *prepares to disappear* Anyway … yep. XD That’s the unnamed WIP (which I’m actually semi-active attempting to think up a name for … I have a plan for the name … I just haven’t thought of anything yet …) So …that’s that … apologies for … the … oddness. 😛 As you can see hopefully my writing has changed drastically and probably maybe not improved since … 5 to 6ish years ago (it’s 2017 … that was … math …). Erm … thoughts would be nice unless you hate it. In which case … why are you still here? Just getting ready to throw tomatoes at me? Where did you get tomatoes? It’s the middle of winter … I want a BLT … or a … Bacon Avocado Lettuce Tomato sandwich … or … a club sandwich … or a sandwich in general …

Right. Anyway. I’m done. I have no more words. Go enjoy your life. Have fun. Go drink beverages.

Okay yeah … not really … cause I’m exceptionally good at rambling on when there’s nothing left to talk about … I’m going to try to wrap up soon because this post is getting much much too long.

So … my fellow human beans … What’dya think of my writing? How has your style changed? When did y’all start writing (if you haven’t now is a good time … 😉 ) And … more words … *shrugs*

So once again apologies for not posting … and apologies for the weird most likely boring post today … there will be a post tomorrow. Most likely about warm beverages. No spoilers or anything. You can’t tell if I’m serious can you? Well … I also have a couple of books I’ve been meaning to review … And possible some other post ideas. But I do love warm beverages. *laughs evilly* You seriously can’t tell, can you? Well … you’ll have to see tomorrow. Is Sarah actually that crazy? Is she serious right now?

Annnnd. Thus ends me talking. Thank you all for getting this far into this ridiculously long post. XD I hope you’re having a fabulous day, my lovelies! And if not … I hope it’s looking up. I know nothing will ever be perfect and absolutely wonderful but there can still be lovely things in life. *offers hugs, peppermint hot chocolate, and Jammie dodgers to anyone who wants them*
So until later (tomorrowwww *cackles evilly*), stay awesome!*runs away*

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7 thoughts on “A Comparison. In which you get to see terrible writing.

  1. Bahaha, this was hilarious, Sarah! I wish my childhood writings were so fun and to-the-point! 🙂 Also – you have improved SO MUCH!!! Wow! Loved the snippet you shared and especially how “in her head” you were!

    Liked by 1 person

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